Redefining Romance In today’s world, romance can seem like an old-fashioned idea. But the good news is that romance is far from dead. Elite Singles surveyed 2,000 men and women and found out what it means to be romantic today. The amazing results are here, and the first step is to throw away the chocolates and the flowers. Clichés are no longer enough…

Let’s start with the good news:

romance is not dead. An overwhelming majority of men and women still believe in romance. 95% of men and women surveyed believe that romance is still relevant today. Additionally, 90% of women and 92% of men say they consider themselves romantic.

People still want to have romance, and not only do people still believe in romance, they think it’s important in relationships. 70% of women say they think romance makes the world go round, and only 10% see it as nonsense.

Although romance is still relevant, the Elite Singles survey suggests that it has been redefined today. The old clichés have given way to reflect the modern woman, and modern love is shown as a much more practical and personal matter. Although the tradition of romance is strong, it’s out with the old and the new, especially if you’re trying to.

Impress A Woman!

Contrary to popular belief, women do not want flowers or chocolates. In fact, less than 1% of women find chocolate treats romantic, while only 9% indulge in flowers. Today, it turns out that the best way to be romantic is to be actively involved in your partner’s work life. For more than two thirds of the women surveyed, modern romance is based on the day to day work. 68% would choose a partner who shows a genuine and ongoing interest in their career and work life, rather than a partner who surprises them with a bouquet of flowers every week.

Romance has not only become much more pragmatic in what women really want, but it’s also about the individual and personal ways of saying “I love you.” The massive focus on stereotypical romantic gestures no longer turns up the heat. Today, with an endless list of options, customizations, and variations, the secret to being romantic is individualising your romance. Nearly a third of women (30%) want something unique and spontaneous, preferring personalised gestures to flowers, chocolates, theatre tickets and even hotel stays.

Intern Relationship

Zoe Coetzee, Elite Singles Intern Relationship Psychologist comments: “In today’s modern world, traditional romantic gestures no longer drive a lady crazy. Women are less impressed by clichés like flowers and chocolates. Not only do they buy their own, but they consider that the most coveted product is unique and personalised surprises. This reveals how well your partner knows you, and spontaneity makes the heart race. Making a moment memorable is the priceless gift that creates meaningful romance today.” flirtwith

He goes on to say that when it comes to romance, nothing should be generic. “You have to find your persona in the buttons,” advises Coetzee. “Ask yourself what would mean a lot to your partner specifically. Is there something that only they would enjoy or an inside joke that only they would understand? That’s what makes someone feel really special. The fact that you know details that no one else knows.”

Although most men and women value romance and consider themselves romantic, the thought of not doing it right can be stressful. For the 18% of women and 27% of men who admit to feeling pressured to be romantic, Coetzee shares some practical advice on how to be romantic today:


Get up early to start the day with a smile

Communication overload in today’s world means that many people wake up and reach directly for a mobile device, checking email, WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram before even brushing their teeth. Break up the noise and make sure you’re the first thing on their minds by sending a meaningful message early in the morning to wake your partner up. You’ll get out of the clutter and start your day with a smile.

Recreate cherished memories

There may be no flowers and chocolates, but candlelight dinners are still appreciated: Nearly a third of women (31%) find them romantic. However, it’s always worth customising – try combining the romance of a dinner party with your cherished memories as a couple. Do you remember that romantic trip you took to Marrakech three years ago? Recreate those memories by staying at home and cooking a Moroccan meal together.

Think of significant moments instead of grand gestures.

Don’t think about grand gestures, rather think about the individual gestures that will really mean something personal to your partner. A great idea is to frame a picture from the early days of your relationship, one that really shows how in love you are. Gift this to your partner to keep on her nightstand as a daily reminder of how she feels.

Focus on the details

One of the clearest ways to communicate real romance is to listen to your partner. If you want to make her lose control, remember the next time she has that big presentation or stressful meeting. Show your love by marking the date, sending a good luck message, and remember to follow up and ask how it went afterwards. Showing an active interest in their work life is much more romantic than the generic “have a nice day.”

Try new experiences together

People are stimulated by new and unique experiences, so create your own to maintain that stimulation. New activities actually activate a neurochemical response in the brain that can actually stimulate you and your partner to create feelings of excitement and heightened excitement. One way to get your heart racing and rekindle the romance in your relationship is to be bold and get out of your daily routine. It can be as simple as going to a new restaurant in a different part of town or starting a new hobby together. Dare to do something different.

Surprises are sexy

Spontaneity topped the list of women’s favorite romantic gestures. Surprise is your secret weapon if you’re wondering how to be romantic. She shows that she has put time and thought into planning something special, and that will make her partner swoon. Plan a scavenger hunt with small gifts, blindfold your partner and take them on a mystery date, or have a picnic in her backyard. Whatever the activity, the unexpected heightens the excitement.

Regular reminders of your love

In a relationship, it’s easy to take your partner for granted and fall into a mundane everyday routine. Today’s romance is all about the small but everyday ways you remind your partner of what they mean to you. Spice up your relationship by regularly reminding your partner how you feel. For example, hide 20 love letters in your house, each with a reason why you love your partner. It will take time to find each note, making them feel recognized and appreciated with each message. Acts of love, like these, support real-life romance; the kind that lasts.

Romance on the road

Nowadays, traveling is much more accessible than ever. Plan a vacation together, even if it’s just a weekend. Traveling together brings you closer as partners and companions. Not only are you experiencing new surroundings, but you are expanding your cultural horizons while creating new memories together.

Give the gift of time

Life has become very busy and time is possibly our most valuable commodity. Turn off your devices, clear your schedule, and make yourself your only priority. Make a decision to stay one night a week for your date night, when the only thing on the agenda is each other. Giving time and effort to your partner is one of the most authentic ways you can communicate your love and inject a boost of romance into your relationship.


Focus on your family and friends too

When you’re building a life together, true romance is making an effort to build meaningful relationships with the people most important to your partner. By naturally but consciously integrating yourself into your partner’s inner circle, you are actively demonstrating that the people most important to your partner are also important to you. Invite friends over for double dates or organise a family visit for the weekend. It may seem small, but these actions really show how much you love your other half.

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